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qaz79
Ensign
Joined: 11 Nov 2005, 01:00 Posts: 139 Location: PA, USA
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>HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A WOMAN:
>
>Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to
>lights and darks.
>
>Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
>
>If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
>
>Look at your womanly physique in the mirror --
>make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg-lifts, etc.
>
>Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide
>loofah and pumice stone.
>
>Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.
>
>Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
>
>Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced.
>
>Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.
>
>Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.
>
>Rinse conditioner off hair.
>
>Shave armpits and legs.
>
>Turn off shower.
>
>Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
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>Spray mold spots with Tilex.
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>Get out of shower. Dry with towel the size of a small country.
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>Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
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>Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.
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>If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.
>
>
>HOW TO SHOWER LIKE A MAN:
>
>Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a
>pile.
>
>Walk naked to the bathroom.
>
>If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo
>sound.
>
>Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
>
>Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your butt.
>
>Get in the shower. Wash your face.Wash your armpits.
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>Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off.
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>Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
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>Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.
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>Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.
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>Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.
>
>Pee.
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>Rinse off and get out of shower.
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>Partially dry off.
>
>Fail to notice the water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub
>the whole time.
>
>Admire wiener size in mirror again.
>
>Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.
>
>Return to bedroom with towel around waist. If you pass wife, pull off
>towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo sound again.
>
>Throw wet towel on bed.
>
>If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this,
>there is something SO very wrong with you.
>Have a great day! Oh, and....woo woo!!!
_________________
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21 Jan 2007, 19:53 |
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iwulff
Fleet Admiral
Joined: 18 Sep 2004, 01:00 Posts: 884 Location: Germany
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hehe already have read this before, but still cool.
_________________ "Logic is the beginning of wisdom; not the end." -- Spock (Star Trek VI)
Q: The trial never ended. We never reached a verdict. But now we have. You're guilty. Picard: Guilty of what? Q:Of being inferior.
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23 Jan 2007, 08:15 |
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hilditch
Crewman
Joined: 03 Oct 2006, 01:00 Posts: 41 Location: Nottingham UK
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In my first year at university I lived with a girl who did all the things on the list for women only at the start and at the end she would have a cup of tea. What else do you expect the English to do.
_________________ If you can't think of anything smart to say, don't say anything at all.
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25 Jan 2007, 05:17 |
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