Hey HaloDude, welcome to the forums!
It is still possible to play online, but you - and the person you want to play against - first need to download and install a program called
eWarzone. The download link is at the top of that linked page.
Once you've installed the program, load it up and select Birth of the Federation; it should be the second game in the list that appears. Then, create a username and password for yourself, and log in.
You'll see several numbered boxes, possibly with some other peoples names in them. These boxes are rooms where people are playing games. Click on one of the empty boxes, any one of them, and your name will appear there. Tell your friend(s) to enter the same room as yourself, then choose someone to host a game. That person will need to click on the "launch" button that appears at the bottom-right-hand corner of the screen. The game *should* then
automatically load for everyone once the host has entered the game settings. (Map size, number of minor races, etc)
If it doesn't work, try clicking on utilities
dx port test and make sure everything checks out. An Alternative program is to use
Hamachi, which is a program that I personally much prefer over eWarzone, but it also leaves you open to certain security risks so isn't always the best option. If you need to use Hamachi, make sure you know who it is that you're playing against to minimise the risk. Make sure you turn on Hamachi's security features as well. It will ask you whether to turn these features on during installation.
Good luck.
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