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BOTF is hazardous to health! (What diseases have you got?)
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Author:  Matress_of_evil [ 30 Jan 2005, 01:23 ]
Post subject:  BOTF is hazardous to health! (What diseases have you got?)
Right, me and CVN-65 have been complaining about what this game has done to us. I thought that it should serve as a warning to anyone who is out there. I also want to know if you can provide us with cures, and whether these problems are part of a wider range of problems associated with the game.

(Obviously this is totally serious) :lol:

Right then, I personally suffer from the following problems.

1) RSC - Romulan Superiority Complex - A complex created through the overuse of plasma torpedoes on unsuspecting enemies and allies. Causes an enlarged ego during battles involving Romulan starships.

2) RCDD - Romulan Cloak and Dagger Disorder - A severe affliction, resulting from Tal Shiar espionage. May result in distrust from friends, family, and relatives.

3) RIP - Romulan Invisibilty Psychosis - A belief that one is invisibibble. May result in embarrasing situations, but the psychosis dampens your ability to realise the embarassment, until well after the event.

Come on then, what afflictions are you suffering from?
Author:  CVN-65 [ 30 Jan 2005, 01:50 ]
Post subject:  This warning was issiued by the Surgeon General
I'd like to welcome you to all BotF-Anonymus

Hi! I'm CVN-65. You can call me CVN, and I have IIFO!


IIFO - Infinite Irritating Federation Optimisam. Causes you to respond to virualy every failiure with a never-ending joy and optimisam similar to that of the Federation

FIC - Federation Inferiority Compley. Directly causes RSC (see reference above). It is caused by looking at puny Orbeths getting slaughtered... :cry: I'm sorry... Often followed by extreme cases of IIFO.

EDIT: KHS - Klingon Honour Sindrome. Caused by seeing great Klingon warriors retreat like... Pahtks in front of insulent Toh'Paqs! Vorch-doh-baghk, Kahless! bat'LEH! kajanpak't CHEGH-chew jaj-VAM jaj-KAK!!!... may also cause you to speak Klingon even though you don't even notice! Never happeden to me.

Please share. We can fight it together!
Matress and I have stepped out, join us!
Author:  Rigel [ 30 Jan 2005, 01:55 ]
Post subject:  Re: BOTF is hazardous to health! (What diseases have you got
BOTF2BRI - Birth of the Federation2 Beta Relese Irratabiity. A condition that causes the patient to come and check this site one to three tines daily to see if the beta has been released yet.

Currently there is no cure. :(
Author:  SonOfMogh [ 30 Jan 2005, 10:42 ]
Post subject:  Re: BOTF is hazardous to health! (What diseases have you got
I am SonOfMogh, I've been a BOTF-aholic now for 5 years...

I don't know the technical terms, however these are a few of my symptoms....


1/ I regularly answer the phone, "Greetings from the Klingon Empire!"

2/ I try to answer most questions in the style of BOTF diplomatic responses. If I'm asked out in a bar, I'll often reply, "We are flattered by your generous offer, but would prefer to remain apart for now"

3/ My mobile phone says "Our diplomats have news" when I get a text messeage.

4/ I'll often steal money from my friends, but I'll always plant trace evidence to frame someone else.

Help me! :lol:
Author:  Rigel [ 30 Jan 2005, 20:07 ]
Post subject:  Re: BOTF is hazardous to health! (What diseases have you got
:lol: :lol: :lol: SonofMogh, you poor, poor soul :D :lol: :lol:

I particulary liked symptoms 2 & 4. :lol:
Author:  CVN-65 [ 30 Jan 2005, 20:11 ]
Post subject:  Re: BOTF is hazardous to health! (What diseases have you got
In the voice of Deanna Troi: Rigel! We are not here to judge!
We are here to sence, feel and expess!

( :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: )
Author:  Rigel [ 30 Jan 2005, 20:21 ]
Post subject:  Re: BOTF is hazardous to health! (What diseases have you got
:oops: Your right CVN (or is it Deanna? :lol: ), it was very improper of me to laugh at anothers aflictions. I'll try to be more understanding in the future.

( :lol: :roll: :lol: :lol: )
Author:  ZDarby [ 31 Jan 2005, 07:19 ]
Post subject:  Re: BOTF is hazardous to health! (What diseases have you got
OC3DCMCRD: Obsessive-Compulsive Three-Dimensional-Computer-Model Conversion and Repair Disorder. It all starts by trying to import BotF1 HOB ship files to your favorite modeling program so you can fiddle and play with them. But the poor things have been mutilated so badly by the BSP (Binary Space Partitioning) process that you feel sorry for them and have to fix them. Soon you find yourself working on 3d files from Klingon Academy, Bridge Commander, Homeworld, Armada, SFC, XvT, XWA..... More acronyms that a fellow ought to know! I sit before my screen and drink tea all night, get to bed at 4am and wake up at 9 to get to work! I DON'T HAVE A GIRLFRIEND ANYMORE! I DON'T WALK IN MY BELOVED FOREST ANYMORE!! IT'S RUINING MY LIFE!!! PLEASE! HELP ME!!!!!!!!
(big breath)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!!
(GASP, pant, caugh, hyper-ventilate)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!
(choke, sob, wheeze, moan, whine) ............

Well, back to my models!
Author:  ZDarby [ 31 Jan 2005, 07:39 ]
Post subject:  Re: BOTF is hazardous to health! (What diseases have you got
Oh! And CVN: You gotta stop calling Matress, Mistress! He's gonna get really soar at you someday! :wink:
Author:  CVN-65 [ 31 Jan 2005, 09:27 ]
Post subject:  Re: BOTF is hazardous to health! (What diseases have you got
:oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops: :oops:
sorry... changed it...
It wasn't me! Realy! Rigel, you belive me! IT WAS DEANNA!
Author:  Matress_of_evil [ 31 Jan 2005, 11:17 ]
Post subject:  Re: BOTF is hazardous to health! (What diseases have you got
*Ahem*

I'M A BLOODY MATRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Thankyou.

:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Oh, i've realised that I have KPSP - KlingonPainStickoPhobia as well!!

(Does my bloody matress frighten anyone?) :lol:
Author:  CVN-65 [ 31 Jan 2005, 12:44 ]
Post subject:  Re: BOTF is hazardous to health! (What diseases have you got
Everybody who dares defy Worf (in his longer name) has KPSP! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:

Bloddy matress... spooooooooky! :wink: :lol:
Author:  Matress_of_evil [ 31 Jan 2005, 17:49 ]
Post subject:  Re: BOTF is hazardous to health! (What diseases have you got
Oh, and now I have GI - Graphicitis!

Graphicitis is a condition affecting the nervous system. It causes uncontrollable twitching of the hands, and incoherent pharases like "must alter the .hob files and edit the .tga formatting"

The only known cure is the removal of an internet connection, be it through a crashed computer, or failure to pay the bill. Luckily, the aflicted person hs no intention of being cured, and these unfortunate events will never occur without outside intervention, aka act of god. :lol:

The affliction is generally considered to be caused by an overload of graphical pleasure, but in some cases may also be caused by the introduction of new graphical interfaces, like Iwulff's (Under construction) race and map interface for BOTF2.

For more information, see the following interface...heh heh heh...
http://m.1asphost.com/iwulff/flashsite/index.swf

Ha ha! Now the twitching is not only with me! Graphicitis will spread, spread to the far corners of the world! Bwahahahahahahahahaha!! :twisted:
Author:  Rigel [ 31 Jan 2005, 21:53 ]
Post subject:  Re: BOTF is hazardous to health! (What diseases have you got
Matress_of_evil wrote:
Ha ha! Now the twitching is not only with me! Graphicitis will spread, spread to the far corners of the world! Bwahahahahahahahahaha!! :twisted:


You really are a matress of evil arent you?

BTW, I dont know that I am frightened of your bloody matress, as I am grossed out by it. 8O :lol: :lol:
Author:  Matress_of_evil [ 01 Feb 2005, 00:24 ]
Post subject:  Re: BOTF is hazardous to health! (What diseases have you got
Well it should worry you that my friend is the Mistress of evil, and she...wait, that just sounds wrong! She is only a friend The 'Mistress' part has nothing to do with our friendship! :lol: (And if you take it along those wrong mental lines with the Matress, I will be forced to use Klingon Pain Sticks!) :lol:

Actually, that sounds fun...

Oh and my KPSP has converted to KPSp now - KlingonPainStickophilia! :lol: (Oh great, now it sounds like I really would enjoy the Mistress part now...I'm gonna go before I make this hole that i've dug myself into even bigger!) :lol:
Author:  CVN-65 [ 01 Feb 2005, 00:25 ]
Post subject:  Re: BOTF is hazardous to health! (What diseases have you got
I don't think you can expand a black hole... :wink: :lol:
Author:  Matress_of_evil [ 01 Feb 2005, 00:27 ]
Post subject:  Re: BOTF is hazardous to health! (What diseases have you got
No, but you can invert it and make a mountain out of a molehill! :wink: :lol:
Author:  CVN-65 [ 01 Feb 2005, 00:29 ]
Post subject:  Re: BOTF is hazardous to health! (What diseases have you got
Rigel deleted his post, but was right :wink:
Author:  Rigel [ 01 Feb 2005, 00:31 ]
Post subject:  Re: BOTF is hazardous to health! (What diseases have you got
Well, by the time it was up, it was two posts behind what it was intended for. :lol:

PS -- Simpsons = One of the best shows on TV, besides ST, ofcourse. :wink: :lol:
Author:  Matress_of_evil [ 01 Feb 2005, 00:32 ]
Post subject:  Re: BOTF is hazardous to health! (What diseases have you got
Deleted post? *Does not compute. Memory of a goldfish*

Oh, and I just read your Klingon. Didn't understand a word of it. I 'm an English speaking Romulan!

Dif-tor heh smusma! :wink:
Author:  CVN-65 [ 01 Feb 2005, 00:33 ]
Post subject:  Re: BOTF is hazardous to health! (What diseases have you got
Oh, I thought it was intended for the molehill! :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
What, Matress, no responce in the Empires section!
HA! I WIN!
A GREAT DAY FOR THE FEDERATION!

_____________________________________________________________________
What's up with all this Klingon-Ferengi and the Simpsons? I live in the worlds outback so I don't get it... :wink:
Author:  Matress_of_evil [ 01 Feb 2005, 00:45 ]
Post subject:  Re: BOTF is hazardous to health! (What diseases have you got
That's where you are wrong. The post took longer to think about!
Author:  CVN-65 [ 01 Feb 2005, 00:52 ]
Post subject:  Re: BOTF is hazardous to health! (What diseases have you got
CVN-65 wrote:
What, Matress, no responce in the Empires section!
HA! I WIN!
A GREAT DAY FOR THE FEDERATION!


Matress_of_evil wrote:
That's where you are wrong. The post took longer to think about!


You concluded the universe doesn't exist! That's a victory in my book. :wink: :lol:
Author:  Matress_of_evil [ 01 Feb 2005, 01:08 ]
Post subject:  Re: BOTF is hazardous to health! (What diseases have you got
That was only the 3D version, the 2D version is still out there...and we're in it right now...<Eerie music> :lol:

Na, it was a computer error that caused my loss of this thread. Federation computers were always going to beat ours, but when it comes to engines, we leave you biting our dust.

Watch out, my Operatives may have a new target in sight...
Author:  CVN-65 [ 01 Feb 2005, 01:11 ]
Post subject:  Re: BOTF is hazardous to health! (What diseases have you got
Matress_of_evil wrote:
Na, it was a computer error that caused my loss of this thread. ...


To complete your thoughts with Romulan words form the game:
"Empires rise and fall. Ours' have fallen, but it will rise again..."
Author:  michae1ange1o [ 01 Feb 2005, 20:37 ]
Post subject:  Re: BOTF is hazardous to health! (What diseases have you got
Dunno what the hell i got so i give you an abreviated version of my day, 7am i get up whereupon i get cleaned up and go downstairs and get promptyl mauled by my dog, i then tell the dog that it is distressingly trigger happy and if it mauls me again there will be war, i call a taxi and wait outside occasionaly shouting at peple who pass my gate telling them they are getting distressingly close to my boarders, taxi arrives i smile and give the taxi driver the usual greeting, "The Praetor sends his regards" i get to work and pay the fare, i usualy round it up to the closest £ and say "This is in no way the limit of our generosity" i pass the security guard and tell him i have ignored many of his past actions and will continue to do so in return for certain reperations, i clock in and report for my shift, im convinced the management have cloaking devices that enables them to hide untill your doing something wrong, sometimes i may get sent on a job and stop off midway for a coffee, if asked i just reply that i can only travel 1 sector per turn, i sometimes work with explosive chemicles and have a bad habbit of dropping them in the street, if i get a chitty at work i refuse to sign it because its too constrictive, when i build a pc even tho i know how to make an up to date one i first build an abacus then upgrade it to a calculator, then a bbc basic, then an amiga - amiga a1200 - a 386 - 486 - pentium 1 yada yada
Author:  SonOfMogh [ 01 Feb 2005, 23:13 ]
Post subject:  Re: BOTF is hazardous to health! (What diseases have you got
I though I had it bad...

In hysterics over here. :lol:
Author:  Matress_of_evil [ 04 Feb 2005, 21:29 ]
Post subject:  Re: BOTF is hazardous to health! (What diseases have you got
Two more problems have come to light for me recently: -

DF - Dyslexic Fingers. The combined results of an old keyboard finally giving in, coupled with typing too quickly. Possibly contagious, with reports of it spreading from me to Rigel. :wink:
Symptoms: Un inibilitoy tew tipe propoley lyke yew waz tort to. :lol:

V/T D - Verbal/Typographical Diarrhoea. The result of too many ideas, and an (As yet) unlimited size of replies to posts.
Symptoms: An inability to stop talking/typing once you get an idea, and an urge to write it down in it's entirety, with any possible affects, counter-ideas, problems, objections, and mistakes explored in the same post. The post usually becomes stretched out, with over-explanations, (This means to define something so that it is more easily understood) repititions (The post usually becomes stretched out, with over-explanations) and pointless side-tracking (Are the Tribbles going to be in this game?) :lol:
.
.
.
.
.
Warning: - Do not read this post - these problems are contagious! :lol:
Author:  Rigel [ 05 Feb 2005, 16:19 ]
Post subject:  Re: BOTF is hazardous to health! (What diseases have you got
Matress_of_evil wrote:
Two more problems have come to light for me recently: -

DF - Dyslexic Fingers. The combined results of an old keyboard finally giving in, coupled with typing too quickly. Possibly contagious, with reports of it spreading from me to Rigel. :wink:
Symptoms: Un inibilitoy tew tipe propoley lyke yew waz tort to. :lol:


Is't ture, is't ture! 8O AAhhhh! m'I gettnig wrose yb hte munite!!! Hepl!! :lol: :lol:
Author:  Matress_of_evil [ 02 Mar 2005, 23:01 ]
Post subject:  Re: BOTF is hazardous to health! (What diseases have you got
Well it's been a month since the recurrance of the last disease, and I feel like i'm coming down with something that i've had for a long time...

ME - The Matress Effect
Has a number of side effects, including side-tracking from anything that may be in mind, a loss of memory, or an intense liking of...ooh! Look at the pretty flutterby! Tribble Super-weapon! Tribble Super-weapon!

Currently considered as extremly contagious, this disease is known to infect anyone who writes in proximity to an infected person's posts.

Currently known reservoirs of infection: Matress and CVN-65. Other sources of contamination may be Ragez0r, Michae1ange1o, and Rigel...results are currently inconclusive.

Tribble Super-weapon!
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