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 STARSHIP DESCRIPTIONS - WRITERS WANTED! 
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Evil Romulan Overlord of Evil - Now 100% Faster!
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Type it up any way that you want, Jamie. Notepad would probably be easiest though. As long as myself and Dafedz can copy+paste the text and identify which ships the text belongs to, it doesn't really matter what program you use to do it.

Thanks for this Jamie, i'll make sure you're added to the credits for the game. :thumbsup:

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28 Feb 2009, 21:53
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I will make sure i do it in Notepad. Sorry that the voices weren't working. I could never get over my original problem.


28 Feb 2009, 23:53
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Dafedz hasn't responded to my PM, so i don't know what ships he wants me to do. I am at a lost and i don't want to do something that he is already working on.


02 Mar 2009, 20:58
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Evil Romulan Overlord of Evil - Now 100% Faster!
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Don't worry Jamie; he hasn't read my own PM about you yet either. Dafedz usually pops up on the forums in spurts. He's online for a few days to catch up, then disappears for a week or two. Just give it some time, he'll be back when he has the time.

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02 Mar 2009, 21:29
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Ok. Thank you.


02 Mar 2009, 21:34
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As per notifications in pm's the Klingons are up for grabs at the moment Jamie, let me know how you're getting on.

The Romulan race is almost done. Their ship descriptions (as they currently stand) can be viewed here:


[url]www.trekmania.net\temp_files\rom_ship_descriptions.htm[/url]

Cheers

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18 Mar 2009, 18:25
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Could i have a list of the Klingon ships? I was looking around on www.trekmania.net/temp_files/, but i couldn't find the klingon ships, only the romulan ones.

Thank you.


19 Mar 2009, 15:32
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Evil Romulan Overlord of Evil - Now 100% Faster!
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The shiplists for ALL of the empires can be found Here, Jamie. Just scroll down to the section highlighted in red for the Klingon ships.

If you want to see images of the ships though, go to my post Here. That thread has something like 300 images on it though, so you might not want to view it if you've got a slow internet connection.

You can alternatively see the plain images on their own Here but you'll have to click on each individual link on that page to see the images. They are also named by designation (Eg. Colony Ship I) instead of class name (Eg. M'Char Class) so it might be a bit more difficult for you to identify which image goes where.

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19 Mar 2009, 18:09
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I am just about done with the ship descriptions. I am starting to proofread and edit them now. Could i see their statistics? That might be helpful with the description.


27 Mar 2009, 18:41
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Here is the first version of the klingons descriptions without proofreading and editing. Please tell me what you think.

I still want those statistics if possible so i could make the descriptions better.

Jamie11


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Klingon Ship descriptions.txt [12.29 KiB]
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27 Mar 2009, 19:28
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Evil Romulan Overlord of Evil - Now 100% Faster!
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Hi Jamie, did you manage to read the post I posted here yesterday before we lost all of yesterday's posts when the servers were rebooted this morning?

Just in case you didn't, I asked you what you meant by the ship "abilities"; I wasn't sure if you were referring to their stats (Shield strength, number of weapons, science ability, etc etc) or to the special orders available to the different ship types (Patrol, engage, intercept, scan, escort, etc).

Now seeing as you've now said "statistics" in your most recent post, i'm assuming the shield strengths, number of weapons, etc is what you are referring to. You can find these statistics About Halfway Down This Page.

Have you sent the Klingon descriptions to Dafedz? I don't know how much time he spends reading posts, so your best bet is to send him a PM with the attachment.

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27 Mar 2009, 20:48
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What did you think of my initial texts for the Klingon ships? What should i add or take away to the descriptions? Any suggestions?


02 Apr 2009, 01:58
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Evil Romulan Overlord of Evil - Now 100% Faster!
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I just had a quick look at the descriptions, and there's one thing that I noticed that separates it from the descriptions we already have for the other empires: the tense. Most of the descriptions you've written read more like a history of the design, rather than proclaiming how this new design will be so much better than what came before because it is so much more advanced and so on. By reading like a history, it's more like the ship is already old tech - even though it's your latest design. Whilst there isn't anything wrong with that, it's just...different.

Then again, you could argue that we WANT them to be different. Each race would have its own style in how the ships would be presented, and this is one of those ways.

However, some of the descriptions also speak of the Klingon's in the third person, as though the description was being presented by another empire. An example of this would be the very first sentence of the B'rel class description:

Quote:
The B'Rel Class was created shortly after warp was discovered by the Klingons to implement this new technology.
It doesn't really make sense that the Klingons would talk about themselves in the third person. A better way to say it perhaps, would be along the lines of this:

The B'rel is the Empire's first attempt to utilise the technological marvel of Warp drive on an imperial warship...

Something along these lines would make more sense, and it presents the ship as a new design based on an exciting new technology, rather than something from the past.

Other than these two points, I couldn't find anything wrong with the descriptions themselves, other than the odd few typos. It's up to you what you want to do - you can leave them as they are, or you could look at the tenses a little. It will mostly be a case of changing "was" to "is" or "will be", so it wouldn't involve rewriting the entire thing if that's what you're thinking. Other than these little points though, it's obvious you put a lot of work into them, so on behalf of the team, thank you for writing them; you should be proud of your efforts. :bigthumb:

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02 Apr 2009, 02:30
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Cool, keep up the good work, I need the descriptions aswell :D

Regards Wolfe

P.S I'll also add your name to the credits, oooh famous,.... ok maybe not :D

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02 Apr 2009, 11:56
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Evil Romulan Overlord of Evil - Now 100% Faster!
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Oh that's a good point, Wolfe. I've got to send Mike an updated credits list. I'll be adding you to the credits, Jamie. 8-)

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02 Apr 2009, 12:30
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Oh. Okay. Thank you for the input. I was thinking of more of a general historians point of view, or a teacher's point of view as if they were talking to a class. I will make the changes(when i have time, which i seem to be running out of a lot lately).


02 Apr 2009, 12:56
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Evil Romulan Overlord of Evil - Now 100% Faster!
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That's ok Jamie, take your time. We're not slave drivers here...

:twisted:

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02 Apr 2009, 13:09
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Thank you for your efforts thus far Jamie, it is much appreciated. But there are several problems I see, as Moe points out regarding tense, and the general wording of what you're trying to put across. Also you must remove all mention of the Romulan empire, which appears throughout; the descriptions must be wholly dispassionate in this sense, and without reference to any other empire -- the reason being, you cannot cite skirmishes with the Romulans when in any particularly game you (as the Klingons) may not have even encountered the Romulans yet.

It would also be desirable mate to flesh these descriptions out in a bit more depth, particularly in the grasp of technical and technological systems and concepts (refer to the Tech tree as a guide, as each ship that becomes available at certain techs is balanced in accordance with the tech tree).

I mean not to be critical, but to encourage...

For example:
Quote:
The Scorpion Class was created to hold new technology. It met this standard, but the ship wasn't manuverable
compared to other Klingon ships, so it was quickly replaced with the Bloodaxe Class.


'...to hold new technology' isn't a sophisticted enough description of what we would like to know about this new class of ship the game is presenting to us. 'It met this standard..' But how, and why, in what area, and how much? Why was maneouvrability lacking in comparison to other ships?

And also you've cited this new ship in the past tense, by suggesting it was replaced. It would be advisable (desirable) not to discuss or even mention future ships in a class description that precedes it in order of availability. The shiplist is chronological; it charts a passage of time, if you like, from the beginning to the end, with each entry proceeding the last. The engineers who built the Cruiser II for example, are uneffected by, and have no knowledge of, the Cruiser III...

Anyway mate, thanks for these submissions so far, but they do need a bit more work... :bigthumb:

cheers

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02 Apr 2009, 18:52
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Okay. Thank you for the criticism.


02 Apr 2009, 20:46
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Matress_of_evil wrote:
That's ok Jamie, take your time. We're not slave drivers here...

:twisted:


lies all lies, Jamie MOE has had me ankle chained to my desk and the palm of my hand super glued to my mouse. he uses a cat of 9 tails walking around screaming "more images now!!!" at times I think poor Kenneth of borg is going to fall over from not regenerating in his alcove. we both a in fear for our very lives........... heeeelppp Please.... help!

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03 Apr 2009, 11:48
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Evil Romulan Overlord of Evil - Now 100% Faster!
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How did you escape from your cage?! I think i'm going to have to WELD your hand to the computer mouse this time. And why haven't you completed any more images? It's been hours since your last image. Hours! You disgust me. Get back to work before I do something that means i'll have to enslave another artist!

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03 Apr 2009, 11:57
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NO! You will not take me alive!


03 Apr 2009, 20:10
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hmm well i think we could make a sitcom out of that stuff.
We can call it "the way to the place wherefrom they started to go where nobody has been before"
you think it´s to long?


03 Apr 2009, 20:12
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Evil Romulan Overlord of Evil - Now 100% Faster!
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We could always abbreviate it. Anyone fancy watching TWTTPWTSTGWNHBB? :lol:

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03 Apr 2009, 21:31
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That sounds familiar. It reminds me of 'Proceed without misgivings to places previously not visited by people." - or something like that.

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03 Apr 2009, 21:37
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Evil Romulan Overlord of Evil - Now 100% Faster!
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I think I know why it's familiar, Kenneth. The abbreviations reminded me about A Thread I Created a long, long time ago. It was a thread all about the medical conditions that were caused by BOTF. Obviously we haven't been thinking about sitcoms as viceadmiralv said, we were actually thinking about medical dramas...

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03 Apr 2009, 22:50
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is anyone here a doctor? if we could include one we could catch up with your old ideas and make a medial sitcom out of it. Again, anyone a doctor?


03 Apr 2009, 23:37
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Working towards it :D

Regards Wolfe

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04 Apr 2009, 00:57
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Me too(kind of). Actually, a mix between a doctor and a scientist, which can sometimes be synonymous.


04 Apr 2009, 03:22
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My last day of school is tomorrow. I then get a week off. I will redo my Klingon descriptions during this time.

IF the update that might be coming out at easter is more stable with the date of the release, i will try to get it to you by then, but i will need a date as i have a lot of important work to get done.


09 Apr 2009, 03:06
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